Do you enjoy fishing? I used to go fishing with my grandpa when I was a little girl. He loved fishing in a stream- the stream next to his little remote property in the northern US. He would have lived up there if it would have been practical. He had everything under the sun for fishing tackle, and even tied his own flies. He made amazing flies.
But that's not the kind of fishing I am talking about today. I am talking about the extremely annoying client practice of emailing several ladies to inquire about booking their time, even including their screening information and a date, and getting her to agree to see you, only to never be heard from again. Men do this to avoid disappointment when trying to arrange company on a trip out of town. They want to hedge their bets in case their first choice does not come through.
While this is understandable, it is one of our top pet peeves. Trust me on this: when you go through all the hassle of screening someone and clearing your schedule for them, and they never write back, it is tantamount to a last-minute cancellation. Some ladies will even charge you a fee for the hassle. I don't blame them. I now understand why so many leadies have this statement on their websites: "Serious inquiries only."
It's particularly bothersome for me because of the way I prepare myself to meet you. Once you've given me a date, I begin to absorb what I know about you into my psyche; I take on board any information about your personality, your interests, and your attitude towards life and our meeting. (This is why I ask you to tell me something about you, and why I might ask seemingly silly questions like, "What's your favorite color?") I get really excited about meeting you and being yours and making you mine for the time we are together. When the meeting doesn't happen, it's a slightly painful withdrawal from that headspace. Similar to men's "blue balls", it's more like "blue psyche" for me.
Now, I understand the desire to cover one's bases given the nature of this little world, but you could at least have the courtesy of writing to let someone know you've made other plans. If it's last-minute, it will still be annoying, but you'll at least have communicated. I've had a few gents pull this on me this year, and they've made their happy little ways onto my personal DNS list. Sorry boys, but I expect a certain level of common courtesy from those with whom I choose to meet, and if you can't offer that at a minimum- or respect my time- I have no time for you. Communication is key here: be a good communicator, and you'll earn my respect and my company.
So if you're considering making me one of twenty other women in Tampa you're thinking about seeing on an upcoming trip, I ask you to move along. If, on the other hand you've decided that I am specifically someone you'd like to meet, by all means inquire, but keep my way of doing things in mind: plan ahead and communicate consistently. Thanks!
And to all of the wonderful gentlemen who have sought and continue to seek my company, and with whom I have chosen to meet, I thank you for being perfect gentlemen. I will bend over backwards to try to make an engagement work with you every time. :) <3
[I should mention here that thus far I have not had this issue with couples or ladies, so that's why I have specifically discussed this issue in terms of gents. ;)]
*The title of this post is thanks to Heather of Alabama. She makes me laugh constantly on TER, and this is what she called this practice. Lol! Thanks, Heather. ;)